Identity Theft

Someone stole my identity – unwittingly

Just minutes after that person looked into me:

“You’ve got to be KIDDING me!!!”

Dismayed that he was now the epitome of a person living shittily

Almost instantly, he called from a hideout in Italy

I picked up slowly, wiping away my tears of victory

“I fucked up, didn’t I? Will you take yourself back?

I’ll give you a little bit of this, a little bit of that.”

I respectfully declined as he cleared his throat

“Under my ass is a chair, in my hand is a rope.”

I urged him to stop, I urged him to cope

There will be days when you mope

Days when you’re broke

And of course, days with the features of both

Ofttimes you will note

As you run out of coke

That this life…so far…the majority’s pain

You’d have to be masochistic to want to remain!

Eyes shut with a grimace, pillow tearfully stained

WHEN?! WHEN?! WHEN?!…….will my fortune change?

Pain…I just think…pain

But I implore you to endure, take it from a fellow

Tortured human being, elation could be right around the…hello?

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