The name is Jose Austen. I’m 24 (Jan. 4 ’93) and I don’t have a lot going for me at the moment. I like to think that “at the moment” is the operative term here. While I was enrolled in college I assumed that everything would work itself out for me upon graduating with a degree in neuroscience (woulda made me sound very smart, I know). As I began my senior year I had an epiphany: I did not actually want to have a career in academia like I thought I did. I soon realized that neuroscience – albeit an interesting subject – was not something I wanted to form an occupation around, at all. Out of pure disillusionment (with myself and to some extent with the rest of the world) I dropped out of school two years ago and have been trying to find another way to “make it” ever since.
This site basically tracks what I have thought about and what I continue to think about since then. Like most humans, I think bad thoughts – and here is where you can find many of them. Sometimes these thoughts are reflections on real-life events; other times they are reports of troubling (sometimes vividly horrible) events that transpired only within the confines of my imagination. Much of what I write is written during periods of prolonged isolation and from a state of dejection. If I were happier, I’d write happier – happily.
2nd December – 2017