Life How I See It Right Now

I am lost like humanity; similar to humanity

I am lost.

Opinions chime dictatorial since time

immemorial.

Here I am hanging on, assuming I’ll contradict current conditions soon

I am sustaining myself, providing means to maintain my own mental health

This soul’s situation is dire like the ones of most Americans you hear about

Basically: existential crisis meets financial crisis – the problem thus encapsulated

Humanity is lost like Jose; similar to Jose

humanity is lost.

Politicians squirm professorial since time immemorial

A violent revolution, I long to see it happen

Organizing mass action, it is difficult to do

Marching is a waste, just another stage for soul-sucking

phones to participate in photo ops

Akin to the Bible, I don’t have all the answers, if any

I am just a guy in a maze constructed by strangers

This maze, to navigate is no issue of the category trivial

Critical steps, each one, sometimes it’s best you don’t take one

Myself, I am a stranger though I have met a lot of people

Kept in touch with very few,

so now my social network’s feeble.

….

Of the human species I’ma member, a creature brought about by the hand of evolution

I see my circumstances and yes, if I had a loving God, I would ask for absolution

Faced with a life of mediocrity, I wonder if another decade’s gonna change that

My brother is suffering the same and I lament that I can’t change that

So, what can I do?

I’m smoking Newports like I’m Jesus taking no thought for tomorrow

Pensamientos

She was a rainbow in an otherwise grim diary

I was lunacy to her,

lunacy to her stability. Her disposition battled mine.

Last love of the real kind – I felt it dissipate at 16.

Even then I doubted that I’d ever feel that way again.

I embody desperation, the feeling stemming from…

fulfillment lacking.

I’m too scared to choose

for certain a new avenue.

Can this “profession” be my passion if I approach with hesitation?

“Will it make me money?” – always it’s a prime consideration.

I am occupying this position – that I know for certain

I want to occupy a better one – that is generally my purpose

What does “better” mean? That is what I strive to figure out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Existencia

Pulling a rabbit out of a hat to fight a bat out of hell

Standing empty-handed nakedly at a show & tell

Some of my relatives are much more suicidal than the masses

If I wore glasses, I’d take them off to see something else

The smartphone, many were murdered glued to their tomb

I glance at my phone and wonder why I fancy myself immune.

I am GOD’s idea of AI, receive inputs, give outputs – reduce me to a chemical

Walk up on the scene and put the “non” into the sensical.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Rumination

The imagination, it’s a hell of a thing

I pitch without a hitch

and sell myself the dream.

Ease is with what I produce a path to letdowns

Let down but it is my fault ultimately

Self-swindled without a flame to be rekindled

This is either all too complex or pathetically simple.

Keep fantasies in the medicine cabinet

Medicine in my gut at all times

Like the mind, I can’t see physically my wants

Disoriented thoughts, yes those –

race and run the gauntlet.

I’m like winter mixed with spring

I like my fruit forbidden

I’m like nothing mixed with something

Stranded, harping hard on how it was to once be driven.

Some would say I’m “tripping”

I am tripping, truly

I was riffing – cruelly

Some would say I’m “tripping”

Me? I have no comment

Precisely, I could not state my intentions.

Loosely, there’s a chance I can speak sharply on my actions.

This is life and opportunities are passing me

They pass me with no waving, I look on like I’m forsaken.

But pity from the self, it has yet to help me

I have optimism somewhere

It’s tough to see

You see, it’s stealthy.

Indeed, someone will always have it worse than you, worse than I

Yet that knowledge is no killer and our hurt survives

What can I do? But spin a new narrative, try a new thing

Hope my next dream is no illusion,

and if I’m wrong – try again

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She is Me

She is me

But with more leverage.

She is me during that one day.

She is me

But she’s not waiting for me on Sundays.

She is me but with a better life.

She is on the cover of She Wants Revenge

Debut album with a shiny knife.

She really is me.

It’s no longer a mystery.

She is me

But of a different gender.

Why did I offend her?

She is me

When I sat there smiling

She is me

But there are more inhabitants on her island.

She is me, she really is me

It’s no longer a mystery.

She is me

But just a little older

She is me but with a colder shoulder

She is me

With a little more subtlety

And yes, that troubles me

I am her

When she didn’t know what to think

I am her

But I do more than drink

I am really her

I always wondered: Was she really hurt?

I am her

But they call me “sir”

I am her

When told that she misread my words

I am her, I really am

I am her but with a weaker plan

I Don't Know

I could never type poetically.

I pace to the left then back to the right – I’m a pacer.

Suspicious…hmm…everything’s suspicious

Why did so-and-so make such-and-such decision?

I’m reminiscing about a rumination I had months ago while pacing

If I had to define music

I would say it is an emotional conduit.

I have a cockamamie theory

Please don’t demand of me to prove it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Hate Thanksgiving – BayArt

Fuck Thanksgiving

My life sucks, everything sucks

My social life is almost non-existent at best

And I’m running out of recreational meds.

This shit is the worst

I don’t think there is a worser life

But I could be wrong

I remember when I was a kid

I used to smell my aunt’s thongs (Tia Mirtha’s)

I hate thanksgiving

I hate holidays, they mean nothing to me now

Like birthdays – they mean nothing to me now

Everything means nothing to me now

I hate Thanksgiving

Source: I Hate Thanksgiving – BayArt