I Like the Word Fathom

I like the word fathom

as the title suggests

I cannot fathom

not liking it.

I cannot fathom biking it

to Nicaragua

Or eating Pluto

in one spoonful

I cannot fathom being raped

by a towering, massive cell mate

But what I can fathom

is shitting soiling myself

to drive potential rapists away

I cannot fathom

the existence of that dumbass


I cannot fathom having

a mushroom on a stick


the modest inch of 6

I cannot fathom fandom

I can fathom indifference

in times of decision

I can fathom derision

in unison when

a student keeps the class hostage

by asking a question

with 1 minute left

I cannot fathom a world without

answers from Jeeves and Google searches

I cannot fathom stealing

elderly ladies’ purses

I cannot fathom

a worldwide national anthem

I cannot fathom being handsome

But when I look in the mirror –

Maybe I can fathom

I cannot fathom an actual phantom

disrupting an opera – that

I really

cannot fathom

The post I Like the Word Fathom appeared first on BayArt.

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 Random Pt. 21

Overwhelming impatience

consumes much of the room

designated as Reservations.

So upset that I look forward to

someone instigating an altercation

Duking it out in Downtown streets

Onlookers are proud

of their civility, tranquility

In contrast with this savage

who draws all who are around to the center

“Yeah, yeah! Right there! Oooo. That’s it!”

Walking away from the madness

And then life gets boring

I’m scuffing cleats

evading the scene.

This isn’t just baseball,

It’s the Major League

Big league


Scrapping with a guy by the name of Big Lee

Cutting up a pineapple at midnight

Wondering if this person is a man or a dyke

Vulgarity….is that all right?

I always thought Dragon Ball Z was boring

I’m sorry! 😦

Snickering at a joke.

Its comprehensibility exists

only between you and I.

If either of us die

the jokes that live inside get euthanized.

And we want to keep comedy alive…right?

Starbucks and Dunkin’ in a stare down

Suggesting the former to show who you came with

money is no issue.

Now everyone has to spend 

more than they wanted to –

groaning on the inside, assenting on the outside  

Buying a little sign to signal

that they’re right there with you 

doing decent in the middle class.

Imagine overcoming all nerves

and against all odds

going on that thing they call “date”

and you choose the latter instead.

You will go home with uncertainty 

She must think: Damn,

this guy is broke as fuck.

You expected her to believe the following impossibility:

Dunkin’ is “like horribly underrated”

and to be “like totally honest”, Dunkin’s coffee is “like the greatest”

A burst of laughter from the two of you

“Reality is: I’m trying to save money…because ummm right now I’m a little financially screwed.”

^ All it takes to love this dude

Peace once you point out every elephant in your proximity

A blank notebook is opportunity and creation

Starting to grow a neckbeard

And i must say,

I think it looks alright.

A lap dance at a funeral

Altering the globe forever from a cubical

A girl

who is magnetizing.

A girl

who presses charges

when you pretend that you’re stuck to her.

Interrupting a conversation one too many times

Becoming self-conscious: Man, I have to stop;

I look like an asshole

When you leave: What a self centered jagoff, this guy

A whale of a time, taking the obligatory pictures

in the background dead polar bears,

an iceberg dissolving into the mixture

Super cautious, think again whenever

nearing nonsense inexcusable

or unbearable grandstanding

At worst, hold your head right above


or right below the thresh.

A Day Without…

A day without group Z

24 hours without group K

1,440 minutes without a lesbian

86, 400 seconds without a Guatemalan Mexican


Supreme material for the satirical

When you think it’s over – no; it starts again

My proposal to the next organizers:

7 minutes without oxygen


Hey! Hey, now my group! Do my group next!

Pick us, pick us

I swear, we’re so important

We want the whole world to know it

Presence by omission

Once or twice – I get it

Now nauseating head shaking

when I find about more spinoffs


I’m no one, but I think I speak for many

Many racists out there side with me

Went to a meeting with one once,

Walked in like: Be cool, he’s alright with me


But also on my side…plenty people who don’t care

about your hue, about distinctions


A day without group Z.2

24 hours without group K.2

1,440 minutes without an Englishman

86, 400 seconds without me?  Oh, that’s refreshing


Fucking Up, Generally

I’m fucking up

Conscious of it

as it happens, can’t stop it –

like a hiccup


Everyone waits for the person

who has a bad temper to self-destruct

It’s amusing, entertaining

Fodder for senseless chatter



I fucked up my coffee

Sipped its bitterness

Sugar packets slipped me

Rather remiss


Fucked up in traffic

An insomniac does not have

The most reflexive reactions

Rear-end you and drive away

No insurance to pay


Fucking up various

admissions tests. Maybe a Bachelor’s 

is my pinnacle. Severely cynical.

I’m soulless. No one has ever asked me:

What’s gotten into you?


I’m fucking up, so now I’m collecting

coins off the floor. Someone comes

I posed my ready question

“Hey, have you seen my phone?”


I’m fucking up. I think I’m malnourished

People tell me with eyes

of uncertainty

to not get discouraged.


Straightforward paths 

unite against me to form a labyrinth

Every molehill is a mountain

Errors increasing exponentially

I’m fucking up, essentially


Hiring a hacker

For $500

he will email me

pictures of my friend’s sister.


This hacker

his alias is Dirty Little Mister

Refreshing my inbox incessantly –

today is going to be the day –

or my money back!


When you mix

the pervy with the nerdy

this is what you get


No disrespect

I just want to see you naked

For courting have no patience

and that time might be wasted

This is better. You’re so unsuspecting.


Staying caffeinated

Big can of Mountain Dew

sitting by my side

Chipper and antsy

like children on Christmas


I get an email

Subject says: ENJOY – 15 images from phone

Saw nipples and I freaked

Got up in disbelief and paced

Shot glances at the screen

till I believed


I said goodnight

to family members who were up

If they think I’m sleeping

they’ll be less likely to interrupt

You see? I’m pointing at my right temple now –

I’m smart


I’ll just

say this about the pics

They were the shit!

Worth every penny

This is material

for nights plenty


Weeks later

I walked by her

She was on the porch

with her boyfriend, talking

We both looked at her


And we probably both

see through her clothes

with a quite

accurate imagination

Or at the very least –

just me 😉

Random Pt. 20

Smoking meth with Aaron Paul

Going to the bathroom just

to roam the halls.


Aimless. Fameless. The Life & Times

of Nameless.


Wardrobe so old, so old

Every combination I’ve adorned

Wear my father’s shirt

for a change.


I like raccoons, wish I

saw them more often.


A bag of chips and Xbox One

A life without a daughter or son

At this point nothing will be fun

until I do what I believe

must be done


Desire ambiguous. So,

fulfillment unattainable

like a child on his toes unable

to reach the Trix on the fridge

so he drags over the chair from the table


Perhaps there’s a chance…

Dumb and Dumber-type chance


Energy drinks made me forget

what water is.

Complaining about being fatherless?

But you don’t know what you missed


Feeling confident like having breath

minty. When you swap spit during

a kiss. Or wake up on test day –

ready to ace.

Adderall-infused study sessions

paved the way


For now, I have nothing more to say…


March 7th

It is March seventh, a new batch of pills

The thrill at the pharmacy: wow oh wow

It’s time to enhance or revive my skills

I take ALL my meds, man – I took the vow


A capsule of speed is bag of Skittles

Thinking, writing, typing, thinking again

My concentration is rather brittle

On the cusp of a tangent, brain can vend


Contents obscure or contents familiar

Just take your pick and I’ll supersede it

With my preference, I’m first in billiards

Can’t be weaned off – I need it, I need it


I create at pace unprecedented

With candid ad infinitum venting