Hiring a hacker

For $500

he will email me

pictures of my friend’s sister.


This hacker

his alias is Dirty Little Mister

Refreshing my inbox incessantly –

today is going to be the day –

or my money back!


When you mix

the pervy with the nerdy

this is what you get


No disrespect

I just want to see you naked

For courting have no patience

and that time might be wasted

This is better. You’re so unsuspecting.


Staying caffeinated

Big can of Mountain Dew

sitting by my side

Chipper and antsy

like children on Christmas


I get an email

Subject says: ENJOY – 15 images from phone

Saw nipples and I freaked

Got up in disbelief and paced

Shot glances at the screen

till I believed


I said goodnight

to family members who were up

If they think I’m sleeping

they’ll be less likely to interrupt

You see? I’m pointing at my right temple now –

I’m smart


I’ll just

say this about the pics

They were the shit!

Worth every penny

This is material

for nights plenty


Weeks later

I walked by her

She was on the porch

with her boyfriend, talking

We both looked at her


And we probably both

see through her clothes

with a quite

accurate imagination

Or at the very least –

just me 😉

Random Pt. 18

Seduce a muse, come live in the lair of

the Kid with the beard, penetrate you on a prayer rug


Drugs saved me. They gave me something when I had nothing.

Vague hope from afar, glimmer beamed through a crack

When I had been beaten through the basement’s concrete


Euphoria was fleeting, left me crying tears of joy

I thought that I would never for a second leave the void…


Come take drugs with me, lock eyes and

travel on one wavelength, I’ll take your hand

Rub it on my cheek. Kiss it –

I’m complete.


Sappy when I’m mellow

drinking Mellow Yellow…It’s good, no?




Words of Encouragement 

Unloved, friendless, resentment

Unoccupied, complacent, tormented by the past

Weak, anemic, swaying crazily as light breeze passes
Diminished, discouraged, decimated
Inarticulate, unwise, revolting reflection

Shameful, embarrassed for existing in this state
Competed, defeated, crumbling

Masturbation (Men's Edition)

Addicted to masturbating

What is dating? Jeopardy!

“Umm, what is mating?”

Sometimes I go

For an hour or more

The payoff is huge

Nearly empty the store

Then there are times

When I must be as quick as the Flash

10 minutes or less

Waste of a splash

Regret will come later

I’m certain, I know

When I have plenty of time

But my tank’s running low

When I plan to have sex

With a new gal I’ve seduced

My main aim is to hinder

These hands from forming a noose

2 days minimum

Preserve cum, jizz, semen, some call it skeet

Or else my performance

Is shamefully weak

Lackluster for her, and even for me

Ejaculation is scarcely anything sweet

But so often I cave

To incessant demands

After a day

“Please, please, one time won’t change anything, man”

I’ve been late to work plenty

On account of this deed

Dashed into the shower with astonishing speed

And remained there with leisure

Dedicating time to my Meat

How gross you might think

To share so graphic a tale

So extensive, this writing

Jam-packed with detail

Well, what can I say

It’s tough not to write

In this elaborate way

About something I do

Day after day 😉

Happy Thoughts

Preparing to make a positive remark

Embarking on a change in disposition

Waves hit the ship with the impact of 606 charging bison

Seems to always occur before the transition to optimistic

Tsk tsk…

Woe is me, my name is Woe

Woe was my Mother, when Woe was born