Pessimist's Poem

In this world

I am alone when distraction is longed for

Timid when outgoingness is called for

 

Everyday

I am a heartbeat away

from capping off the worst life

 

 

Slipping into a sedentary habit

Indifference is quite biased

against living

 

 

I used to be a participant

Lollygagged for many calendars

And now…?

 

Trying to resist menial work

Jumping high, fingers on the edge

Curl them, pull up and fall again

 

Cannot commit suicide

My instincts bar me

from murdering myself

 

So, I am trapped, yes?

Head hung, bowing to the moss

on bricks

 

Some around me

pretend to be

living as who they were not meant to be

 

I

on the other hand

have given up the sham

 

The hope is the croak

of the frog itself

 

I tell an optimist this:

Go fuck yourself

Words of Encouragement 

Unloved, friendless, resentment

Unoccupied, complacent, tormented by the past

Weak, anemic, swaying crazily as light breeze passes
Diminished, discouraged, decimated
Inarticulate, unwise, revolting reflection

Shameful, embarrassed for existing in this state
Competed, defeated, crumbling

Random Pt. 9

At the mountain top, no footing is too sturdy

Expression – no description is too wordy

Planning to sleep by midnight, wide awake at 2:30

Schizophrenic mind, like a million little birdies

Using reason to contemplate this absurdity

Optimistic and pessimistic concurrently

Worried like fighting to the death against Hercules

And confident like life after plastic surgery

Something is disturbing me

Gradually worsening

And I’ve got nothing but time

 

 

 

Glimmer of Hope

Dissociating from a world lost

Bleak outlook indefinitely paused

Are there rays of light around the corner?

Sunshine State treats loners as foreigners

Awakening from hibernation, crawling out of the mouth of a cave

Somewhat similar to walking into the light of day after a rave

Misery never knows when it will cease to be

Immediate release? No

But eventually…?

 

THE DOOR IS CLOSING

Despair washing over…glimmer of hope exceedingly small

 

A door closing vertically…little by little

 

Charging, leaping one last time, sliding, sprawled out

 

Door crushes lower back, bones crunch – like the chocolate bar

 

Almost made it out, excruciating pain

 

Objectively short lasting, subjectively long lasting

 

Passing away, years of decay, no one dismayed

 

Made it halfway