Spending Time Making Silly Rhymes

Catapulting cattle to Seattle

Go canoe to Honolulu

Sipping Chardonnay with Marvin Straight.


A math club in a bath tub. Or

a Frenchman with a henchman.

Live stream of your border collie making origami

Die alone with an iPhone. Or

Passing away while playing Madden 28.


Painting a mural of what’s going on with your neural

A suicide pact with Sylvia Plath. Or

A smoking Session with Jeff

Death is no disaster

“Hey, you stole my joke!” – 😡

I’m Buster Baxter.



I Like the Word Fathom

I like the word fathom

as the title suggests

I cannot fathom

not liking it.

I cannot fathom biking it

to Nicaragua

Or eating Pluto

in one spoonful

I cannot fathom being raped

by a towering, massive cell mate

But what I can fathom

is shitting soiling myself

to drive potential rapists away

I cannot fathom

the existence of that dumbass


I cannot fathom having

a mushroom on a stick


the modest inch of 6

I cannot fathom fandom

I can fathom indifference

in times of decision

I can fathom derision

in unison when

a student keeps the class hostage

by asking a question

with 1 minute left

I cannot fathom a world without

answers from Jeeves and Google searches

I cannot fathom stealing

elderly ladies’ purses

I cannot fathom

a worldwide national anthem

I cannot fathom being handsome

But when I look in the mirror –

Maybe I can fathom

I cannot fathom an actual phantom

disrupting an opera – that

I really

cannot fathom

The post I Like the Word Fathom appeared first on BayArt.

from BayArt

 Random Pt. 21

Overwhelming impatience

consumes much of the room

designated as Reservations.

So upset that I look forward to

someone instigating an altercation

Duking it out in Downtown streets

Onlookers are proud

of their civility, tranquility

In contrast with this savage

who draws all who are around to the center

“Yeah, yeah! Right there! Oooo. That’s it!”

Walking away from the madness

And then life gets boring

I’m scuffing cleats

evading the scene.

This isn’t just baseball,

It’s the Major League

Big league


Scrapping with a guy by the name of Big Lee

Cutting up a pineapple at midnight

Wondering if this person is a man or a dyke

Vulgarity….is that all right?

I always thought Dragon Ball Z was boring

I’m sorry! 😦

Snickering at a joke.

Its comprehensibility exists

only between you and I.

If either of us die

the jokes that live inside get euthanized.

And we want to keep comedy alive…right?

Starbucks and Dunkin’ in a stare down

Suggesting the former to show who you came with

money is no issue.

Now everyone has to spend

more than they wanted to –

groaning on the inside, assenting on the outside

Buying a little sign to signal

that they’re right there with you

doing decent in the middle class.

Imagine overcoming all nerves

and against all odds

going on that thing they call “date”

and you choose the latter instead.

You will go home with uncertainty

She must think: Damn,

this guy is broke as fuck.

You expected her to believe the following impossibility:

Dunkin’ is “like horribly underrated”

and to be “like totally honest”, Dunkin’s coffee is “like the greatest”

A burst of laughter from the two of you

“Reality is: I’m trying to save money…because ummm right now I’m a little financially screwed.”

^ All it takes to love this dude

Peace once you point out every elephant in your proximity

A blank notebook is opportunity and creation

Starting to grow a neckbeard

And i must say,

I think it looks alright.

A lap dance at a funeral

Altering the globe forever from a cubical

A girl

who is magnetizing.

A girl

who presses charges

when you pretend that you’re stuck to her.

Interrupting a conversation one too many times

Becoming self-conscious: Man, I have to stop;

I look like an asshole

When you leave: What a self centered jagoff, this guy

A whale of a time, taking the obligatory pictures

in the background dead polar bears,

an iceberg dissolving into the mixture

Super cautious, think again whenever

nearing nonsense inexcusable

or unbearable grandstanding

At worst, hold your head right above


or right below the thresh.

Random Pt. 20

Smoking meth with Aaron Paul

Going to the bathroom just

to roam the halls.


Aimless. Fameless. The Life & Times

of Nameless.


Wardrobe so old, so old

Every combination I’ve adorned

Wear my father’s shirt

for a change.


I like raccoons, wish I

saw them more often.


A bag of chips and Xbox One

A life without a daughter or son

At this point nothing will be fun

until I do what I believe

must be done


Desire ambiguous. So,

fulfillment unattainable

like a child on his toes unable

to reach the Trix on the fridge

so he drags over the chair from the table


Perhaps there’s a chance…

Dumb and Dumber-type chance


Energy drinks made me forget

what water is.

Complaining about being fatherless?

But you don’t know what you missed


Feeling confident like having breath

minty. When you swap spit during

a kiss. Or wake up on test day –

ready to ace.

Adderall-infused study sessions

paved the way


For now, I have nothing more to say…


March 7th

It is March seventh, a new batch of pills

The thrill at the pharmacy: wow oh wow

It’s time to enhance or revive my skills

I take ALL my meds, man – I took the vow


A capsule of speed is bag of Skittles

Thinking, writing, typing, thinking again

My concentration is rather brittle

On the cusp of a tangent, brain can vend


Contents obscure or contents familiar

Just take your pick and I’ll supersede it

With my preference, I’m first in billiards

Can’t be weaned off – I need it, I need it


I create at pace unprecedented

With candid ad infinitum venting

Random Pt. 19

A Rubik’s Cube buried in a coffin

Funeral packed with PhDs

A cow shutters as a farmer sucks its udder

Airtight garage with fumes exhaust


Photography. Snap a shot of ideologies

People exiting a hookah bar, entering the stressed streets

Christian Muslims, Black Albinos

Sending prayers to god that explode on arrival


Devouring dog shit with a dab of salt

I want to see a nuclear war.



Singing mutes belt vocals heavenly

I think I want to die at 70

I like pain but not too much pain

Eating man-made pancakes – a bunch of goo


I bring firefighters to igloos

At current, I am a dead wire and set fire to a guy named Edmire

Astonishing the absurdity

So fashionable the unreason


Turn on the tube and watch online news

What is cracking on the web today?

We are such a community, feel like I know you

This is like the adult home school

A Bad Hombre

An immigrant came from Costa Rica

Went to Starbucks and raped a barista

Fled the scene in a stolen Mercedes

Driving drunk, killed a mom and (you guessed it) her baby

On his way to rob a PNC bank

“It’s a bad hombre! Get out of the way!”

Clerk at the bank was cooperative

So she was raped but was allowed to live

Then he passed by parks, selling drugs to kids

Found a Sanctuary City and hid

Following day, he visited his folks

They’re good people, by the way, unlike most

Thanks to Trump, this scumbag was caught and shipped

Back home to Costa Rica – good riddance!

Artful Little Aardvark

The aardvark smiles when the clock strikes 12

A plan centers around you and locks you

inside a station circular – the circle is the station



Banging a nail through a wall with forehead’s force

Washing hands with just water

Whimpering in a corner like a scared little boy



Shuffling along, passing scenes chaotic

Diving into garbage, hope no one sees me

Finding trash, think it treasure – easy


Standing in awe at an art museum

Portrait hangs over me with exaggerated enormity

Blown back for staring too long


Travel back to when all was still

No time to kill

I am real



Infrared Infrastructure

Pubic hairs lost in the wind

Naked men chasing women into caves

Dirty dancing on top of a bus, party

Part in the hair with a comb so classy

Flash a smile for forty-five minutes

Infrared Infrastructure


Hermit inhabits cell, solo

Seminal writings – prophetic, enabling

Receiving oral sex for one hour

Turn on the hose, gardening, hose hardening

Jumping from roof to roof

Falling and waking up, dreamed death


Riding a seal into battle with dolphins

As the sun sets, silhouettes – shields, swords

Engaging combatants

Hopeless romantic willing to snatch Defiance


Flying with a Mayan

Hover over temples of gods, shitty

Engulfed by volcanic activity

Like a rectum reamed with a red pepper

Fired up to do violence, just destruction

Home invasion

Sparked by scent of windowsill’s fresh muffins


Infrared Infrastructure

Masturbating manually

A little pussy like Sean Hannity

Tempts one to live longer, linger

Fisting an orifice with ten fingers

And ten toes

Masturbating manually


Harping on history, personal

Pardon prosaic brooding

Mind disqualified from achieving

Status normal, bleed blood bleeding

Masturbating to see milk

Dripping from the Walls of Silk

In mind’s eye, loser’s illusion



Off –putting, obnoxious

Obtusely noxious

Insensitive recalcitrant

Buried with erection poking

Out of the dirt, stroking


Random Pt. 17

Eating everything bagels in a Winnebago

Chive cream cheese makes the knees weak

Thinking about the tech world after watching Westworld

Unshaven, what is bathing? conversing with a raven

Nauseous like Jews showering in Auschwitz…aww shit

I love the Jews, they’re tremendous like Mendez

Missing job interviews, rather touch myself in the nude

A diet made up of Toaster Strudels and Raman noodles

Hapless appearance, and even that description is vastly endearing

Somersaults on a looted vault

Making up more shit than Joseph Smith

Demonic rape, at a pace quicker than the rate

At which I can come up with a moronic phrase

This guy is shifty like a tectonic plate

And what is that thing on his face?